Honing In On
Our hearts go out to all of the Harvey survivors and families who lost loved ones. As I write this, I am aware that millions of people in the Caribbean who experienced the wrath of Irene, while millions more in FL seek safety and await her landfall with anxiety, trepidation and fear. And let's not forget about the 8.1 magnitude earthquake that hit southern Mexico Friday morning. We send blessings to you. Mother nature is certainly forcing our humanity to the surface.
Haven't gotten the video editing down yet, so pardon the thumbnail image. Hopefully the content will make up for it. Today's message although intended for effectiveness in your workplace has applicability to all aspects of life. Today I am honing in on...
Labor, Laboring, and Love
Most of you will be reading this sometime during Labor Day weekend, hopefully enjoying the three day holiday. I've been thinking about Labor. A passion of mine since college when I majored in labor economics. How intertwined are labor, laboring and love....
A Phenomena of Fear
As we prepare for the upcoming Solar Eclipse on Monday during which a 70 mile stretch of the US, from OR to SC, will be plunged into darkness I've been pondering...
Do Need A Coach, A Consultant Or Something Else?
We are living at one of the most exciting and challenging times in the history of the universe. Technology is developing at an extraordinary pace and institutions are crumbling as well. We are at choice points in our own lives, our communities and the country as a whole. I've been pondering ...
My Heart Aches
Many of us scratch our heads in disbelief daily at what goes on around the world. Then, moments later, observe acts of kindness and compassion which support my faith in humanity. This juxtaposition is dizzying. Wednesday I heard news that has my heart aching...
Minding Your Mind
Mindfulness has become mainstream in corporate world. BEI provides some simple techniques to experiment with.
Summer Heat Wave
Here in NYC we are in our third day of 90+ degree temperatures, heat warnings and concerns about air quality. It brings to my mind, the Lovin' Spoonful hit Summer In The City written by John and Mark Sebastian. https://genius.com/The-lovin-spoonful-summer-in-the-city-lyrics
A line in the song states “people looking half dead” got me to thinking ....
If you have a problem with the video link you can go directly to the Bova Enterprises channel at Youtube.
Enjoy and please comment.
Rosemary
July 14th, Bastille Day
It's Bastille Day in France. Another celebration of Independence, and this year acknowledgement of the lasting relationship between France and the US. A partnershiprecognizing the uniqueness of each country. Starting with our fight for independence from the British, there have been a number of opportunities to partner on issues important to both countries. There have been periods of strong disagreement as well. Trust is at the core, irregardless of who is at the helm. By now you may be wondering what this has to do with the workplace and management? Trusted relationships are needed in every place of business. How does one build trust?
A Quick Note
Hope your Independence Day celebration allowed time for some relaxation. I had a great response to last week's greeting. Hope you enjoy this one as well. After you view it please take a moment to comment.
Nesting In the Blizzard
Greetings everyone. We just turned our clocks ahead 2 AM Sunday morning a sure sign spring is on the way. The full moon arrived that same morning and remained between 99 and 100 percent illuminated showing its brightly glowing face through last evening. Mother Nature in communion with La Luna gathered her powers to play havoc on the east coast today and possibly even tomorrow. In NYC we hunkered down for between 12 and 20 inches. When I awoke yesterday there was only a dusting of snow on the ground. The day felt different to me. Usually snow falling has a beauty associated with it, gentle and peaceful. Not Tuesday. This snowfall seemed angry, wet, winds howling. Most people heeded the Mayor's request to stay home so few were on the streets. Eventually we, (Dan and I ) had to go out and clear off the walkways. We are ever thankful to neighbors with snow blowers who cleared our sidewalk a number of times.
Everyone I spoke to yesterday commented on the need to hunker down. Nesting in. I made a big pot of chicken soup in the morning. Mother Nature is pounding us. Some of us coping with the weather, are still trying to find footing after the election. Concern is on so many people's mind. A friend forwarded an email that had a poem Wendell Berry wrote. Although I know I posted this in a previous blog or newsletter reading it again today I felt compelled to write to all of you and reprint the words again.
Before I do this I'll give a brief update about BE (aka Bova Enterprises, Inc.). I'm testing some new descriptive language and would love your thoughts. Please comment to me at rab@bovaenterprises.com
BE...Blending the Art of Leadership with the Science of Management and Delivering a Better Future!
Helping people be more effective at their jobs, be they employees, owner managers or corporate executives.
What makes me different? I synthesize knowledge, skill, experience, wisdom and the unseen to craft solutions to clients' unique situations.
Presently, I am also upgrading my website to align with some of my fine tuning. I will let you know when it goes live.
Appreciating your comments in advance.
Till the next time enjoy Wendell Berry's words and a blessing from Peruvian Shaman
don Oscar Miro Quesada
The Peace of Wild Things by Wendell Berry
When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
May the gratitude in your heart, on this good day of giving thanks from our hearts, touch in deeply healing manner the hearts of all who have lost hope in their heart.
In heart service, don Oscar.
It's Hard To Believe
I know many of you will agree with me when I say I can’t believe we are just completing the second week of the 2017. Time is just flying by. I hope each of you had a good holiday season. Some like me celebrate religious and spiritual holidays with families and friends. Others may get swept into the fray. Hopefully you have had some enjoyable moments.
When I sat down to write this blog, I decided I should reread last months to see if I wanted to carry over the theme. My concern for the need to dialogue and have meaningful discourse remains. Without it we sink into negativity and negativity serves no one. It breeds distrust, antagonism and adversity.
Dan and I sat riveted to the TV Tuesday night as we listened to President Obama give a civics lesson in his farewell speech, reminding us that a democratic society is only as strong as its citizens’ willingness to participate fully. I ask each of you reading this to consider what you will do in 2017 to become a better citizen of our great nation. Please let me know what you decide.
This weekend we celebrate the birth and life of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King. My dear friend from college days at Brooklyn College, Luciana Duce is an artist and poet. She shared with me a poem written to honor him that appears in her newest book of poems. With her permission I share it with you:
Warrior of Peace
Today we celebrate
Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King
Blackbird of Peace, of Passion,
of Courage and Compassion
You shone your light
on the dark forces of evil,
of hate, of racism, of bigotry
and inequality
Beautiful Blackbird
with wings open wide
you flew peacefully
but with a power so fierce
you shook the heavens
not to speak of thousands of souls
yearning for your message
You soared and flapped
and dove into our midst
Until the hunters came
hungry for the Blood of the Innocent
they shot you down
you fell as a Mighty Warrior bird
wings outstretched
No bullet can pierce
The glory of your name
Nor can ten thousand guns
Silence your voice
Soar onward
Hallowed Warrior of Peace
Soar onward!
Until the Light of your presence
Fills every dark corner of the earth
And every man, woman and child
Is Free to fly to the top of that mountain
You once named “I Have a Dream.”
From the book Wild Herbs, by Luciana Duce-Dugan
Last, but not least, my partner Dan Snow is the featured artist at the Cathouse FUNeral Gallery Booth at the New York Outsider Art Fair January 20-22, 2017. This is the 25th Anniversary of the Fair and “Totem” a piece by Dan that was in last year’s show has been selected to represent the 24th year of the Fair’s history. We hope to see you there. http://outsiderartfair.com/fair/1869
Thoughts This Holiday Season
Wishing those that celebrate Christmas a Blessed Christmas, a Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanza (it’s the 50th Anniversary this year of this newest celebration of Family, Community and Culture) and a Peaceful and Happy New Year 2017.
Friday night I was at an annual holiday party. Among those present, were people I worked with years ago. Two comments, made by the same former colleague, stand out and have gotten me thinking. One recalling a meaningful conversation with me more 30 years ago that caused him to miss a call from his then boss, and acknowledging the importance of a rare substantive dialogue at work. He later commented on enjoying reading, what he called, the thoughtful and substantive commentary in my blogs and newsletters, which he reminded me of late have been few and far between. Since I had been thinking of writing this holiday season, his comments energized me.
“Where have all the flowers gone?” What has happened to us? Our ability and willingness to listen and hear what another is saying and respect divergent points of view has deteriorated.
The Christmas party I referred to earlier has been held for more than 25 years. Usually a festive occasion, this time the party was different. The turnout was smaller. Most of the people present, I believe, were delighted with the prospects of a Trump presidency. A few of us were not, and were discussing that fact. Some deciding they could no longer be friends with Trump supporters. I commented that one of my closest friends supported Trump and we’ve worked hard not to have this fracture our friendship, and deep caring for one another. At one point the hostess came over, realizing we were not engaged in a conversation of merriment, she tried to shift the energy. It didn’t work and I realized people that had been friends with her for decades suddenly thought differently about her.
I leave you with a few questions to contemplate as we close out 2016 and spend time with family and friends this holiday season. What have we done????? How did we allow the primary season and presidential campaign to sink to such a low level? What have we taught our children about professional behavior? What is the role the Presidency? What is the role of business in a democratic society? What is the difference between government and business? What if anything do we give up if we stand by and watch business take over government?
My hope for everyone this holiday season is that we take a breath and slow down –sounds silly doesn’t it amidst the hustle and bustle of the holidays, but it can be done. Advent is a season of waiting and watching. So, I ask you to think about the country you want to be proud to live in? What type of government do you want? What safe guards do you want people to have? What do you stand for? What does our country stand for? What do we want to leave our children?
Once you have reflected on these questions I ask you to take another deep breath and ask yourself what you can do differently so that you can engage in meaningful discourse with others so that we can revisit the values we believe in.
Those who know me personally know my passion is the world of work. I help owner managers of small and midsize businesses, and executives of large corporations create conditions where everyone thrives-the ultimate win/win mindset for employees, managers, stakeholders, customers and the communities in which business is conducted. How can we put aside partisan rhetoric and begin to speak to one another about what this country was built upon? Our future depends on it.
Blowing In The Wind
NYC June 12th warm temperature, bright sun and lots of wind. I don’t recall having windy days (in the absence of a storm) in June. I like millions of other Americans wake up to the horrific news of the Orlando murder rampage . For the next few hours we are glued to the TV watching and listening to the reports. Paris, Brussels, San Bernadino, now Orlando. What is next? I listen to one of the first news conferences and hear Muhammad Musri, the president and imam of the Islamic Society of Central Florida, deploring the horrendous act of violence and asking people not to rush to judgement. I see the subtle changes in facial expressions of police brass standing behind him and say to myself this is futile. They know something.
A multi-layered attack upon America and in particular our LGBT community during Gay Pride month, and the first week of Ramadan. Am I dreaming?
My heart goes out to the families of the murdered, the victims in hospital and those that were there who were able to flee but will have to deal with the post trauma memories; to the first responders and medical center doctors and staff who trained for such a situation but never thought their training would have to kick in.
I write this today because I worry about my own reaction. I scare myself with my own lack of response. Numbness. I’m in my head. I watch the reports as if I’m watching a TV police drama. This is not good, I think. Not healthy. Am I becoming complacent? Have terror attacks and savagery become routine? I am appalled at my own reaction…curiosity, wanting the facts, feeling numb, devoid of emotion usually felt in my body. Yet yesterday, in a monthly conversation with two healer colleagues of mine I learn that the body regulates how much we can take in at any given point of time. This is a healthy response.
It helped to watch the Tony Awards Sunday night. James Corden’s opening statement dedicated the night to the victims, survivors and country. Hearing Lin Miranda’s sonnet ending in “is love, is love, is love, is love, is love, is love, cannot be killed or swept aside”, and Frank Langella’s eloquence regarding our choices of how to respond to such an event to “live in fear, let it define us or strengthen us”. I choose strengthen us. Stephen Colbert, reminds us love is a verb and requires action.
I have spent much of the last few years a student of “evolutionary consciousness”. I use the mantra, taught by don Oscar Miro Quesada “I am, We are, One, as a continual prayer. We have choice. What we focus on appreciates…increases. Years ago people used to speak of the 100th Monkey phenomenon. Not sure if it has any scientific grounding but it presented the idea that when enough monkeys engaged in a particular behavior, monkeys in other parts of the world suddenly started doing the same thing. Scientist Rupert Sheldrake’s concept of morphic fields, aka nature’s memory, in my mind, somewhat similar to Jung’s collective unconscious, provides me with hope we can shift our consciousness from hatred and violence to love, compassion and the fact “we are one”.
It’s taken me a few days to compose this blog. During this time, I become aware of the senseless killing of Christina Grimmie, a young singer while she signs autographs after a concert Friday night in Orlando. Her family needs our love and support. This morning the story of toddler grabbed by an alligator at a Disney resort there. Pulled underwater despite the futile attempts of his father to free him. What is going on? My heart breaks as I imagine the family watching their child being snatched in front of their eyes. I trust the outpouring of love and support from all over the world will bring comfort in particular to families who have lost loved ones, members of the LGBT communities, the Muslim community. We must eradicate fear and hatred. We must watch the language we use which incites negative behavior. We must send positive thoughts to the family who watched in horror as their child was pulled under.
How can we handle this onslaught of tragedy? We must take care of ourselves as well. I invite you to visit the website of Carla Reed http://www.carlareedpiano.com/ and listen to Keys For Healing. Her music will open your heart and heal the pain and despair you may be experiencing from this week’s tragic events in Orlando. I invite you all to revisit the words to Bob Dylan's "Blowin' In the Wind". The winds blew strong in NYC last Sunday all day long, and continued less strong on Monday. Do you think Mother Nature is trying to tell us something?
Mom At 97: A Woman, Courage and Transformation
Yesterday was my mother Mary Bova’s 97th Birthday. We celebrated Sunday with a small family gathering. In a call with cousin this AM we reflected on the life my mother has had these 97 years. That conversation sparked the thought to write about her life, courage and transformation. So here goes.
Born in 1918 the seventh child of Italian immigrants, Mary (Marie Kathleen Ribellino) was born at 197 Hester Street in the midst of the Italian ghetto, and lived there until age two when my grandfather bought a home in Brooklyn at 1370 72 Street. Seeking a better life for his family.
Some of you may recognize the address as being the address of Bova Enterprises, Inc., Dan’s Art Lab and our home. She’s lived in this home all of her life except for a period of about five years. After marrying my father Frank in 1941 they set up an apartment close by, only to have WWII intervene. Within the year she went to live with my paternal grandparents.
Mom lost her mother at age six and a half, and was raised by her father and siblings. They did the best they knew to do, but she missed out on the attention of a loving mother. She was just 11 when the great depression began, which affected my grandfather’s business significantly. Like so many other families they huddled together in the family home, adult children and their families. Mom’s education was not a priority. Fortunately, the home, business and family survived.
Four months before the US entered WWII, at 21, she married my dad. They were married 56 years when he died in 1997.
Both my brother and I (and, our partners and his children) recognize how fortunate we are to have mom with us and able to participate in life. Sure she doesn’t go out very much, doesn’t bake anymore and has serious hearing problems that have made her more isolated and dependent on others, but she still is feisty and reads the paper everyday and will question what is going on in the world of politics.
Reflecting on her life these last few days my appreciation of what she has experienced and witnessed in her lifetime is heightened. Here are a few milestones that have helped shape her:
Mom’s a survivor. Somehow she learned early on in her life that she needed to stand up for herself and not focus on pleasing others. She did this out of necessity, likely intuitively for her own survival. However in raising us she taught us to put others needs before our own. “Be nice,” she’d say. “Extend a helping hand”, even if it might interfere with what you might want to do. Our life was pretty easy. Only recently, an outgrowth of deeply feminine exploration, did I realize I hadn’t built up the muscle of truly standing for what I want from an authentic place inside.
Mom never finished high school and so in the 1960’s she had to take a literacy course and pass a test in order to earn the right to vote. Since that time she has never missed voting in an election and, makes sure to remind the rest of us to do the same. She is passionate about her responsibility as a citizen. That term isn’t used all that much these days.
She has seen change in the world appear almost overnight. When my dad crossed over in 1997 we didn’t know how she’d handle it. He died 11 days before Christmas. She cleaned out his closet within days of his burial and insisted with our support that Christmas celebrations go on as usual. “Life goes on” she said.
When her last surviving sibling died in 2012 she became the matriarch of the Ribellino family line. Shortly thereafter, Dan and I bought my Aunt Sadie's former apartment, renovated it and moved in bringing a bit of Manhattan to 72nd Street. It’s been quite a learning experience living so close to her.
So why am I writing this today?
Obviously, I am honoring my mother. I’m also weaving together some recent aha’s, which I hope you think are worth your attention. I’ve learned to view unconditional love through a different lens and appreciate the power it can have. I’ve learned about the courage to move forward when life’s circumstances throw us curve balls. I’ve learned to appreciate gazing at clouds while sitting on the front porch to see new whats in them, putting the blinds up at night when the full moon shines brightly so moonlight can bathe you while lying in bed. Only since moving here have my mother and I realized we both love watching the clouds and the moon.
The last 60 years have seen the most rapid advances in technology and science than ever before in the history of humankind. New discoveries and subsequent required changes in how we live just keep emerging. Living moment to moment requires us to modify, course correct and or change how we view the world. An appreciation of that, which falls under the realm of the Feminine, is finally, after thousands of years coming to the forefront. It is not linear but more likely a circular spiral. Its essential each of us, women and men do our inner work. I've recently started cracking my inner "glass ceiling" freeing myself from the earliest programming.
"We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.” T S Eliot. I am finding my mother and seeing her for the first time. Seeing me for the first time, as a daughter unconditionally loved and loving.